Last week I was rushing out the door with the kids. My 4-year-old son, in a concerned tone said, “Mama! You forgot your phone!” Quickly I replied, “Honey, Mama doesn’t have to have her phone at all times” (knowing it was securely in my pocket). My heart sank. I got that same thought in my head I often get, “I hate phones!” I wanted so badly for my son to believe my phone was not important to me, but he knows. My kids both watch my every move and they know. They know I’m addicted to my phone.

“Digital Dementia”, a term coined by top German neuroscientist Manfred Spitzer in his 2012 book of the same name, is a term used to describe how overuse of digital technology is resulting in the breakdown of cognitive abilities in a way that is more commonly seen in people who have suffered a head injury or psychiatric illness. Damage to the right side of the brain is associated with deficits in ability to concentrate, short attention, memory span, and emotional disturbances, such as depression.”

The more I’m “connected” to people on my phone, the more disconnected I am to my little kids and husband. The REAL people in front of me. For some the scrolling on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter is what keeps them rushing back to their phones. They want to numb out. For others, like me,  it’s not Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter that takes up my time and attention. It’s texting, Voxer, Marco Polo, and a gazillion other apps on my phone where people can connect with me any time they want. The thing is, these apps are a lot of fun. I am able to talk face-to-face with friends and family all over the world on Marco Polo. It’s entertainment during my long days and nights as a stay-at-home-Mama. But there’s a cost, and what I’m throwing out today, there’s a very HIGH cost. Digital Dementia being one of those costs. The major lack of me being present with my family is another very high cost.

According to the research, digital devices are eating away at our brains. Not only that, families are more disconnected and disengaged. The Barna Research Group determined 46% of people always or sometimes bring their phones to the dinner table. That’s alarming. I’ve seen it happen with my own family and friends. At an event the other day I walked by a couch with about 6 teenagers sitting on it, and every single one of them was staring at their own device. It was a horrendous site. In no way am I blaming teenagers. Barna also pointed out there is no difference between adults and teenager’s device addictions- no matter the age, we are all equally addicted.

So where do we go from here? Our parents can not pass down any advice, they did not raise us in a technology-driven world. We are the first generation to figure this thing out. But we are not alone. God tells us there is nothing new under the sun, and that if we ask for wisdom, He will give it. I spent a lot of time in prayer over this device-addiction situation. I’ve also talked with a lot of other friends, as well as done some research. Here are 5 tips to save your brain, your children, your spouse, your families, and your life from the demise of devises.

1. SHUT YOUR DEVICE OFF. Pick one day a week and keep your device off for the entire day.

2. Only look at your phone 4-5 designated times a day. I like to keep my phone upstairs, away from me and only check the phone when my kids are resting, sleeping, or playing. (Also, keep your phone on silent and shut off the vibrate feature.)
3. Read real books. (Check out Spitzer’s research on the positive effects on the brain from reading books.)
4. Get outside. Exercise and keep your body moving. Go for a walk and take in God’s nature around you. Talk to a neighbor. Engage with real humans. Share your thoughts with God!
5. Use a real alarm clock, not the one on your phone. Do not sleep next to your phone. Read your Bible before you check your phone in the morning.
6. Bonus Tip: Anytime someone is talking to you, put your phone down. (In your pocket, across the room- out of site.) Let’s show respect to the real live people in our lives by looking them in the eye, and having real conversations with our phones out of the site.
7. Bonus Tip: Ask Holy Spirit how HE wants you to disconnect from your device. He will give you wisdom hand-tailored specifically for you and your family.
8. Bonus Tip: Read Andy Crouch’s Tech-Wise Family, the real book, not the digital copy. I haven’t read it, but I’ve heard great things about it. “Making conscientious choices about technology in our families is more than just using internet filters and determining screen time limits for our children. It’s about developing wisdom, character, and courage in the way we use digital media rather than accepting technology’s promises of ease, instant gratification, and the world’s knowledge at our fingertips. And it’s definitely not just about the kids.”