Four weeks ago today (I’m writing this on Monday) I found myself in an ER with dreadful stomach pain and sickness. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. It took several hours until I finally heard a doctor say, “Would you like something to help with the pain?” Once the pain was tolerable, my mind was freed up to wonder what on earth was happening to me? The doctor had ordered multiple tests, but they weren’t finding anything. Eventually he came in and said, “Well, I don’t believe you have appendicitis but we’re going to send you for a CT scan to rule it out.”

A nurse came and rolled my bed to another part of the hospital. I was flat on my back, covered in blankets, too sick to even think about sitting up and looking around. The nurse asked me several questions, including, “Have you ever had _______ (multiple diseases)?” As soon as she asked, it was like a dart of fear shot straight from her mouth to my brain. I thought, “Oh dear Lord. They think I have one of these terrible diseases!” The panic blew over my spirit at break-neck speed.

At that moment, I recognized the panic for what it was and prayed, “Holy Spirit, what do YOU have to say to me in this moment?” I repeated the question to Him over and over. Sometimes I hear Him in my spirit, or He gives me a picture of something, or brings Scripture to mind, but that day I felt sheer comfort just being able to ask Him my question. Somehow it was freeing to be connected with Him, knowing He heard every word I uttered. Once my CT scan began I got panicky again as the dye shot into my body making my tongue and teeth feel hot and bizarre. The tube that surrounded me made me feel trapped. I continued to pound the Holy Spirit with my question, “What do YOU have to say to me in this moment?” Worship songs danced through my mind while I looked up at the display of the sky and flowers on the ceiling. I think what was so comforting about asking Him my question is that it symbolized my faith.

1.) I believed He was with me.

2.) I believed He heard me and would answer me.

3.) I believed in our relationship and closeness, which gave me freedom to ask Him anything I wanted.

By the time I got back to my original room, anxiety was loosing it’s grip. My strong man was waiting for me, listening to worship music, filling our room with rest. The doctor showed up a few minutes later with the news I did indeed have appendicitis. Surgery would need to happen that day.

The diagnosis opened the door to more potential anxiety, but the Holy Spirit’s presence really began to shut it down. He brought a dear friend from church to sit by my side for several hours. She prayed over me out loud, and sometimes quietly. A lot of the time she kept her hand on my head or on my back. It was one of the most comforting gestures I have ever experienced. My spirit was completely at peace. She played music. We talked. We laughed. She made sure Chuck ate. She listened to my questions- and took them straight to the Lord. She played an audio text from another dear friend from church praying over me. She read me verses.

What did the Holy Spirit want to tell me in those moments? He went a stop beyond telling me anything, and He showed me. He showed me He was with me through the rest in my spirit, through my husband’s strength, and him holding my hand, through the nearness of a faith-filled friend, and through the countless texts that were pouring in as people heard of my situation and began praying. Then, right before the appendectomy my surgeon asked if he could pray over me! Of course I eagerly welcomed his prayer. He grabbed my hand, and while he prayed I was once again filled with super-natural peace.

While I was lying on a bed (more like a table!) in the ER, my friend played a song for me called “Defender” by Rita Springer. The chorus says, “You are the defender of my heart. You picked up all my pieces, put me back together. You are the defender of my heart. Hallelujah! You have saved me! So much better His way.”

It’s so much better His way. His way is to bring peace, rest, joy, and calm to our anxious, restless minds. His way is for us to have the smallest amount of faith we can muster to lead us to trust Him. His way is for anxiety and fear to have absolutely no place in our lives.

As I look back, I’m grateful for how far He has brought me in overcoming anxiety. I see the victory and I’m shocked at the person I used to be. Because I’ve experienced the power of healing in my own life, I have no doubt God is doing the same for YOU.

Here are a few more resources to guide you in your journey of OVERCOMING anxiety:

The God-Centered Mom Podcast with guest Christine Caine

Bill Johnson Message- Fear God Not Man

Blog Anxiety Series by Dena Douglas Hobbs