In The Meantime- Part 2: Cowboy Samuel
Samuel is the son of my wonderful friends Nic and Jessi. Samuel has a brain disorder called ACC, but it’s certainly not what defines him. What defines him is Jesus- who fearfully and wonderfully made him. That Christmas season he was three and a half. I started helping Jessi by
driving Samuel to different therapies he was involved in so she didn’t have to
drag her pregnant self, or baby girl out of the house multiple days a week.
I didn’t realize at the time how God was using Samuel to
fill me. Each day I spent with him, my heart fell more and more in love. On
the days I picked Samuel up from school, I would anxiously wait in the car
until I saw his teachers marching the class outside like little toddler
ducklings. I’d get out of the car and walk to the edge of the side walk where
we would meet. I’d be so excited for Samuel to look up, recognize me, and smile
that infamously Samuel smile.
to his sweet round eyes. Jesus was there in that smile, but I didn’t know
it then. That smile would reach straight to my aching soul, and sooth the spots
in me that were bubbling with pain.
I’d help him into the car, and ask about his day. I’d make
sure he had his current favorite toy in hand- back then it was a mini wooden wardrobe
from a dollhouse. He adored that wardrobe! I’d give him his lunch and drink while we drove
to one of his therapies.
farm for horse therapy. We would sing songs in the car like, “Old MacDonald had
a farm!” We would share silly words, and laugh about silly kid humor. I’d call
him “Cowboy Samuel” and he’d call me, “Cowgirl Abigail!” He loved to holler out,
“Fee! Figh! Foe! Fum!” Those sweet boy giggles were music to my ears.
At the farm, Samuel would ride, (surrounded
by three adults, of course) and I’d watch. Jesus was there, too. He was there in the
gorgeous horses that made me feel serene inside. He was there in the colors of
the changing leaves. He was there in the beautiful children I got to watch. He
was there, using nature and other little humans to comfort my weary heart.
Jesus knew that giving me a job where I got to care for a
boy a few hours a week didn’t just put money in my pocket, it gave me life. The
parts of me that longed to mother got to mother. Though Jesus didn’t give me
my own child at that time, He gave me the opportunity to use the part of my
heart that ached to mother. I needed that. HE KNEW.
I still longed to bare my own children. But that’s where Jeni comes in. Jeni in all her spirit-filled, Jesus-adoring, faith-inspiring, powerful-praying glory approached me one day out of nowhere. The darkness began to lift, and the miracles started happening…
