She Is Good
I’m Heidi. I am a graphic designer, small business owner and a lover of travel. I am a Type A list maker. I have lived in nine states and 14 cities. I attended 11 different schools. I hate onions. I like black licorice. I love grapefruit. I have no favorite color, but my closet is organized by color. I am a left-handed introvert.
I have been wracking my brain for what to write about here for weeks. I am not at the end of some grand journey where I have wisdom or some deep reflections to impart. Instead, I feel like I am in the midst of a painful and ongoing battle in multiple areas of my life. One of the most significant battles being my “woman”hood.
I say womanhood with quotes because I am a 36 year old who has yet to claim herself as a “woman”. In my own mind, I am still a girl, trying to find her way into the world of women. I think a lot of this has to do with the environment I was raised in, but even more so because of the pain of infertility and loss I have experienced surrounding my body.
My body has not been a source of life or goodness for me. It has not been capable of doing the things it was designed to do, so I carry a lot of hatred and shame toward it. Shame that I am working hard to combat on a daily basis.
I was recently invited to participate in a friend’s birthday party. This particular birthday party was unlike any I had ever been to, and yet it was a party that I think every girl should be required to attend.
It was a celebration of what it means to be a woman, created in the image of God, and to honor the goodness of being a woman, our bodies, and our feminine selves.
I was anxious going into the evening because, as mentioned, this is an area where I struggle, and I am willing to bet a good portion of girls/woman do, especially in the Christian culture. Our bodies and our female goodness are hard to talk about. It’s a topic that is talked around, but never really about directly. (Why is that? I’m still trying to figure that out. There is so much fear.)
And so my friend, who is on a similar journey of discovering the goodness of the woman God created her to be, gathered eight women together to share in this special, intimate evening with her. Her 36th birthday.
We were each asked to bring a blessing and a symbol of what represents femininity to us. We dressed up. We sat in a circle on the floor on blankets, reclining on pillows, with candles glowing and lights strung overhead. And, we feasted together in similar fashion of a Seder.
My friend had brought various symbols that were used to mark pivotal parts of her story that she shared with us in between courses of the meal.
Sea water – represented her favorite quote by Isak Dinesen
Pomegranate – represented fertility
After she had so bravely opened her heart to us, we each took time, through tears and our own vulnerability, to share our journey as women. We presented our symbols of femininity: candles, poems, jewelry, art, nail polish; and after each blessing, we handed her a single pale pink rose. Roses are a symbol of femininity to her and so collectively we gave a bouquet of flowers to bless her effort to know and understand who she is and what she likes as a woman.
But we forget that last part.
We berate. We belittle. We shame. We cover up. We snuff out. We forget. We forget the goodness that comes with being a woman, created by God.
I will never forget that special evening where I sat around with eight other women honoring the goodness of who we are, in all our various forms. We came as we were and offered what we had of ourselves to give.
Oh yeah, and we ended the night with homemade carrot cake and dancing in the kitchen to Justin Bieber while we did dishes. Perfect end to a beautiful evening.
I challenge you to check in with where you are with your body. I encourage you to be kind with yourself wherever you find yourself to be. How can we love others if we do not first love ourselves? It is not easy. It’s hard to love ourselves at times. That is what God desires for us, though. Love.
Bonus! As Abigail mentioned in her previous post, I am the owner of Haven Paperie, a small stationery business. I chose three cards that I think are fitting for this post that I want to giveaway to one of you!
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Follow Haven Paperie on whatever social media platform you choose
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In the comments section below, answer the following question. What gift would you bring to represent your journey as a woman or what makes you feel feminine?
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For the guys out there, you can enter for a special woman in your life, too. Your question is: What do you value about the women in your life?
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Not on social media? Add that to your comment so we know!
10 thoughts on “She Is Good”
I honestly would bring a mirror… Not because I actually like looking at myself (I barely even use it to get ready in the morning!), but because the reflection in the mirror is the constant reminder of all the details God created. Flaws and all were designed in His image, with His plans in mind. There is nothing about me or my body that God does not know and cannot use.
I would bring a pair of high heels, nothing makes me feel more like a woman than my favorite pair of heels. While I love all shoes in general, I am especially drawn to Black heels, because they go with everything and they can add class to an outfit. While they make me feel feminine they also make me vulnerable to tripping and falling. Just like any when things are going good in life I tend to start relying on myself and taking my eyes off God which makes me vulnerable to tripping and falling.
First off love this post. It's exactly what I needed to hear at this time. I would bring a cut out of a heart decorated of course. The heart symbolizes so much for me as a woman. Not just the little ❤ we put on text messages or FB, but as woman we put our hearts out there so many times. God our Savior looks at our hearts and He sees bigger things than we ever dream about. He has made us good, it's time my heart starts believing it. ❤
This seems strange, but I think I would bring a pair of scissors. I have my hair cut quite short right now, and although it's only a little longer than a typical man's haircut, I feel really feminine. I cut my hair at a time when I was feeling really unfeminine and frumpy. It was cut out of a conscious decision to seize back my femininity and my own sense of style after having my second baby.
For me, as a woman, I would bring lotion and my favorite perfume. After giving birth to two babies and welcoming a third very soon, all within a span of 3 years, my body is not what it used to be. Rarely do I feel pretty or feel like I truly love myself. But when I put on perfume or lotion that smells really good, I feel so much better about myself.
This post has truly touched my heart and helped me to remember to love like God created me to.
Thank you for sharing.
One thing I love about my wife (Abigail) is her gift of staying connected with others, specifically family and friends. I'd be missing out on life and the happenings of other people's lives (including my own family) if it wasn't for her. She is so good at keeping up with our friends and family and loving on them in special little ways. 🙂
PS: Heidi, this was a wonderful post! Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. You are good!
I really enjoyed this post, thanks for sharing, Heidi! I would bring a bouquet of flowers… all different kinds… Just like we as women are all UNIQUELY beautiful… And delicate yet powerful in our ability to bring joy as we "bloom where we are planted"
This post has been on my mind for the past few days, and my heart and mind have been battling over what item I would choose to bring to a gathering as precious as this! Celebrating what it means to be a woman, feminine in all the infinite ways God has so uniquely and mindfully created each one of us to be as He knit us together…let me just say so eloquently, "So COOL!" I want to go to a party like that! Maybe I'll just have to do something similar, in my own style. Anyway, as funny as it might seem, I would bring the gift of makeup remover. Yes, not makeup, but the stuff that would just strip it all away! The reason is I have such a hard time leaving the house without makeup on. (Ok, honestly, my car, because that's where I keep my makeup. But I only apply it once I have reached my destination, I promise!) It only takes me about 5 minutes, 10 if I'm having a bad skin day, but it is such a comfort to know it's on. Far too often I have found myself APOLOGIZING to others when I do not have any makeup on! Wait, what?! What the heck are they supposed to say to that? What does that reveal about where I might be finding my sense of self worth? It was only until my 5 year old son asked me why I was putting makeup on one day. I absent-mindedly explained that it was what most women do, that I liked how it covered up the parts of my skin that I don't like, and that I felt prettier with it on. He thought about it for about 30 seconds, all serious and frowning. I will never forget what he said because he changed everything for me right then and there. He so wisely said, "Mom. I don't think you need to put that stuff on. It's like…it's like you're graffitiing all over God's creation. Just leave your face like God made it. Ok, Mom?" He skipped away and I was left frozen in mid-mascara swipe. He'd dropped the mic, and God had given him the nudge to speak to my heart without even knowing it. Don't get me wrong, I still wear makeup most days, but that is the gift I would bring as a reminder that we are beautiful as God made us. (Our faces can reflect the light and love of Christ, mind you!) No graffiti necessary. ~Marisa Craig
I would bring my pearls. One, because I think pearls are extremely feminine- Chuck surprised me with a set for an anniversary, and they mean so much to me. Two, because pearls are created inside a clam when something irritates it. I can relate to that as a woman. Life is rough. It scrapes and scratches at us. But, in the end, we are formed into a rare, valuable, and beautiful gemstone.